Practicing Patience

Look for Opportunities to Practice Patience

Like all other skills when you are practicing mussar, patience is a skill that must be mastered over time. Begin with accepting small irritations in your day-to-day existence. Instead of giving in to aggravation the next time you're in a long line or caught in traffic, take advantage of the situation to practice patience. We learn and grow as we practice mussar by putting the skills we develop into use on an everyday basis.

Engage in Mindfulness Exercises

Being more conscious naturally makes us more patient. By bringing you back to the present, mindfulness practice lowers stress and improves your capacity to handle difficult circumstances. Therefore, accept your experience and make an effort to just watch your feelings without passing judgment the next time you see yourself growing impatient. Learning and growing is what it is all about when practicing mussar.

Change Your Viewpoint

Changing your point of view can sometimes make all the difference. Try to perceive a situation as an opportunity to stop, think, or even learn something new rather than as an irritating roadblock. Remembering your larger purpose or objectives can also help you deal with stress. The difficult times at work (which may drive you to wonder why you don't choose simpler work) may feel more rewarding if you have a goal that is connected to something you truly care about, like saving for a family home or reaching a career objective.

Acknowledge Things You Can’t Control

Understand what you can and cannot alter. Anxiety and tension can be reduced by accepting the things you cannot control. Instead, let go of the rest and concentrate on what you can control.

Acknowledge Discomfort

Take stock of your feelings, what's making you angry, and even your energy levels when you see that you're getting annoyed. You can find that you did not get enough sleep the night before, that you are "hungry," or that you are irritated about a remark your boss made the other day. Determine what is truly important after you have a clear understanding of why someone or something is bothering you. Are you using dinnertime to vent your work-related stress on your family? Is your displeasure at not having as much time to socialize this week or your anxiety over an impending doctor's appointment the cause of your rage over a delayed train? Making a list of all the things that are making you impatient could help you correct the situation, relax, or identify what is really making you agitated (for example, worrying about a deadline) and become more patient with the situation at hand (for example, the barista making a mistake with your coffee order).

Reinterpret the Event

Psychology experts advise trying cognitive reappraisal, a method that involves viewing your experience from a fresh perspective. If your daily commute from work is something you hate, think of it as a chance to listen to your favorite podcast, even if you're stalled in traffic. Additionally, if your coworker is always asking you for last-minute requests, think back to times when you have asked friends, family, or coworkers for assistance. Cultivating thankfulness also goes hand in hand with cognitive reappraisal. Make it a practice to write down three things in your life for which you are grateful, no matter how minor. Being thankful for what you have can help you be less impatient.

Remember What is Important to You

Remind yourself of your long-term objectives and the principles that govern your behavior when you are feeling impatient. Being more patient with your loved ones when they do something that irritates you will be beneficial if your relationships with them are your top priority. Patience is encouraged and rash emotions are decreased when your answers reflect your deeper objectives.

Prepare for Tense Circumstances

Future-proofing your day to avoid being in a frustrating situation is another way to avoid impatience. Avoid scheduling back-to-back meetings during the workday that will prevent you from taking breaks for things like eating lunch, using the restroom, or simply relaxing. Be prepared for scenarios that can aggravate you. Take your favorite novels and periodicals with you so you can pass the time while waiting in a hospital or doctor's office. This entails making time for exercise, eating a balanced diet, and getting enough sleep every night. After all, we are all human, and people who are sleep deprived and hungry tend to be a little more tense! You can avoid situations that will try your patience by managing your stress levels and paying attention to your physical health if you have a big day coming up or deadlines to meet at work.

Work on Your Coping Mechanisms

Develop a variety of coping mechanisms to help you deal with stress as it arises, as well as more proactive techniques to help your brain become less reactive to stresses when they do occur. In heated situations, it's a good idea to wait until you've counted to ten before speaking. It provides an opportunity to refocus on your priorities, such as letting off anger or coming up with a workable solution. Count to 20 if 10 doesn't work. Your mind will be diverted from your situation that is making you angry, and before you know it, the moment will have gone by. The next time you're waiting in line or placed on hold for an extended period of time, try strategies like carrying a little pebble in your pocket to divert your attention or let yourself daydream. Imagine the most tranquil location you can imagine. There, you can see, feel, and hear yourself. Enjoy this opportunity to daydream a little.

Treat Yourself With Kindness

It takes time to develop patience. It's a technique that calls for developing self-compassion and being patient with yourself. Recognize that experiencing impatience is normal and does not indicate that you are a horrible person. Be gentle to yourself and refrain from criticizing yourself because it will just make you feel worse.

Begin Small and Remain Devoted

Start with little victories when using these techniques to address patience. That might be going for a walk rather than sending a passive-aggressive email, or giving yourself a high five when you wait ten minutes in line at the grocery store without getting angry. Don’t attempt to make a major change for the first time during a heated argument with your significant other. And don't anticipate a change in a day.

Start Meditating

Numerous advantages of meditation have been demonstrated, including enhanced self-regulation, which can help with patience cultivation. The good news is that you can reap the advantages of meditation without spending a lot of time doing it. Long-term, even brief regular meditation sessions can have a multitude of enormous advantages. Therefore, it can be a great use of your time to pick a practice that you enjoy.

Monitor Your Development

The secret to successful goal setting is to be specific, so identify the areas of your life that need more patience and monitor your progress. For instance, you could decide to practice patience with your spouse and children. Keep a basic tally of the times you lose patience and the times you successfully use the aforementioned strategies to monitor your progress. At the end of the week, count the number of ticks in each column. You'll develop the habit of stopping yourself before you have a breakdown sooner if you practice a lot and show yourself grace.